JUST THE TIP?! GET THE MOST OUT OF FOREPLAY
photography by Matías Alvial
an excerpt of this article is featured in print on page 2 of our FLAMER zine issue 2. grab a copy 4 FREEEE at ur local NY dispo while supplies last ;)
just the tip?!
☆
just the tip?! ☆
u might be skipping the juiciest stuff to get to the so-called "good part." foreplay isn’t just a precursor to a main event. done well, it’s where anticipation builds and deep discoveries are made. here are my favorite ways to slow ur roll and savor it:
happier endings
the goal of erotic massage isn’t to soothe sore muscles or to rush towards hand stuff. instead, use broad, sweeping motions with gentle hands for sensual touch around the body. pay attention to often-overlooked erogenous zones like the underarms, the backs of the thighs, jawline + waist.
the art of sexting
letting them know u’ve been thinking about their touch all day can be enough to get hearts racing. get specific about the flashbacks that have u zoning out at work when u’d rather be back in bed with them. shake things up by sending some voice notes that might require headphones. we have audio erotica at home, babes!
show + tell
guide ur partner's touch with ur own hand, starting at ur upper body and gradually showing them the rhythm + pressure of ur own pleasure. as tension builds, move their hand lower + show them exactly how u touch urself. for visual learners: take turns demonstrating on urselves for the hottest guided tutorial.
share something sexy
erotic inspiration is a spectrum. u might revel in watching queer yearners finally kiss after 90 long minutes of cinema. maybe u swap x-rated clips that capture ur deepest fantasies. try making ur own inspo material: swap erotic letters, star in ur own home videos, or take flirty polaroids to tuck into ur nightstand drawer.
accessorize
prop queens to the front! try incorporating sensory tools like pinwheels, silk ties, or blindfolds. ease into temperature play by adding a warming lube or running body-safe glass toys under cool water. removing one sense or enticing another can make the familiar feel brand new.
play a game
pick up a sexy question deck, improvise some truth or dare, or pull up a yes/no/maybe list online. get as earnest or giggly as ur heart desires. it's a bonding experience + sneaky practice for talking openly about fantasies, desires, + boundaries in bed.
get wetter
the ritual of bathing together can be foreplay in its own right, not just reserved for shower sex quickies. take ur time lathering each other up from head to toe for lower-stakes intimate acts of service. enjoy soft kisses under the warm water. or… lean into ur locker room fantasy, towel each other off, + make them watch in the fogged-up mirror. steamy!
how's ur head?
put ur mouth to work just as u would with ur hands. tease enthusiastically with ur lips, breath + tongue. suck on fingers, kiss down their back, let them just barely feel ur lips as you draw closer to their lap. if oral is ur main attraction, take ur sweet time building anticipation for a more satisfying, gasp-inducing moment down south.
open the toy chest
toys + tools deserve foreplay, too. try holding a vibe over clothes or spend some time dry humping with the strap already on. if ur in a sex toy rut, get creative with ur fav tools: use a suction toy on nipples, slip a vibrating cock ring over ur fingers, or gently drag a leather flogger across the body to wake up the senses.
suck + blow
there's something undeniably intimate about sharing things that touch ur lips. cannabis may heighten sensitivity to erotic touch + help calm any pre-hook-up jitters. share a joink while u soak in the tub, exhale into each other's mouths before kissing, or pass it back + forth while cuddled up + watching the romantic (or raunchy) film u picked out.
every body, couple, and encounter is unique, so treat these ideas as inspo and leave what doesn’t resonate. stay curious, use ur words, and follow what feels good for all involved <3
